Monday, February 28, 2005

The Runs - Not Not Funny

Well this is a little (a very little bit) funny:
(The following results are from an internet quiz - click on the link below to finally find out which human waste you are)

You scored as Diarrhea. You are diarrhea... I mean come on you like RUNNING AND MUD
Diarrhea: 67%
Pee: 58%
Throw-up: 50%
Turds: 33%
Snot: 33%

What human waste are you?
Created with Quizfarm.com

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You scored as Pee.

Youre pee. Immean you love the yellow sun... and you like the TASTE OF SWEAT (which is pee)!!!!!!

Pee - 100%
Diarrhea - 67%
Snot - 67%
Throw-up - 58%
Turds - 8%"


sweat is pee? wtf? i definitely feel (and smell) more like a turd.


nate

1:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You scored as Throw-up.








You are throw-up... YOU LIKE CANDY BARS WITH CHUNKS WEIRDO! and you like spinny rides, which means you obviously GO ON THEM HOPING TO PUKE





Throw-up




67%



Snot




58%



Pee




58%



Diarrhea




25%



Turds




17%
this is SO me. never had a more accurate description. ~cel

3:39 AM  
Blogger Ilan Muskat said...

I remember the Night Court episode where it turned out Bull Shannon was a supergenius and he went on a quiz show... and he couldn't get the last "what am I" question, and he thinks, and thinks, and eventually he's almost out of time, and he mops his forehead with a towel, and wrings it out (torrentially)... then he looks at the towel and screams out "I AM HUMAN SWEAT!" And the host replies "Yes, you are," and Bull wins all the money. Hooray.

And then he keeps working as a bailiff.

9:09 AM  
Blogger Ilan Muskat said...

And apparently I'm throw-up. Barf. Puke. Whatever! Where's my money?

9:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel that the quiz is not sufficiently fine-grained to capture my multi-facted personality. I've always considered myself to be one of the more complicated bodily fluids, like sputum or bile. That's right: I'm a sputum-like, electro-shock-therapy-lovin' MONSTER.
DG

11:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you sure? i always thought you were a booger.

Heidi's a dingleberry.

6:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoever said that is in BIG TROUBLE. Although maybe not that far off, because apparently I am a turd. "Youre a Turd! Face it buddy, you want a twin and you are small. AND YOU LIKE SHOOTING PELLETS" Strange thing is, I answered "Disagree" to all the questions. But it still made me pick one. I said I'd like to be a twin. And this makes me a turd. Maybe I'm missing something? Unlikely RN please advise.
-Heidi
p.s. Dan please do NOT advise.

11:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

at least i didn't call you a Klingon or an SBD! or buttcrust. or --

*gets pulled offstage by a giant hook*

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Another basic antiseptic is Geranium oil. With its distinctive perfume and pain relieving properties, it is a necessary inclusion when starting out.

Peppermint oil should also be purchased as it treats digestive complaints and may be used in preparations for freshening breath.

For fragrant perfumes and establishing ambience in a room, buy some Patchouli and Ylang-ylang oils. Often combined in scented candles and air fresheners, a few drops of each in an oil burner creates a wonderfully perfumed home. Orange oil mixed with Cinnamon oil is a lovely winter alternative that evokes seasonal, holiday smells. Besides their perfume qualities, all four of these oils have other properties. Patchouli treats eczema and dandruff. Ylang-ylang is reputed to relieve stress, palpitations and high blood pressure. Orange is used in natural remedies for depression and nervous tension and Cinnamon is excellent for warts and viral infections.

The herbs, Thyme and Rosemary can be grown in pots and used when needed. To create essential oils from herbs, stew some large amounts in pure water, collect the steam and cool it. The oil will rise to the top of the drained water and can be collected with an eyedropper. Alternatively, a "flower still" can be purchased to make the job easier. Thyme and Rosemary are both antiseptics and can be used in skin care preparations. They are also delicious when used in cooking.

Lemon oil and fresh lemons will purify water and, when mixed with honey, are effective remedies for colds and flu. Lemon and white vinegar are highly efficient cleaning agents that can be used for domestic cleaning tasks without damaging the environment. Use white vinegar as a natural disinfectant or mix it with water to clean windows and wooden floors. It is also handy to keep a bottle of white vinegar in your car if you swim in the ocean. It will bring instant relief from jellyfish stings.

Citronella oil is perfect in summer to keep the insects at bay. Another natural repellent is Garlic. Fleas will not bite a dog that has been eating garlic, so a few garlic capsules in the dog food are a cheap solution to your pet's flea problem. A soft collar soaked in Citronella will also do the job.

Garlic also helps to promote a healthy immune system when the weather turns cold and viruses begin to circulate. In fact, most of the oils and herbs listed above are effective in helping to prevent many common winter illnesses.

Whether you are looking for remedies or nature friendly products to use around the house, the oils and herbs suggested above should help get you started. You will be ready to make some healthy changes in your way of life!

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You do not have to own a garden to tap into the benefits of plants, roots and herbs. A few herb pots located by a sunny window are enough to get you started. Then, all you need are some essential oils and you are ready to go.

For therapeutic purposes, only the purest oils will do. It is possible to be fooled into thinking that you are purchasing a pure oil. Often, a lesser quality blend of several oils is used to mimic the properties of the pure oil. Blended oils are acceptable for fragrance purposes such as for perfuming a room, but pure oils are a "must" for medicinal purposes.

A reasonable guide to the purity of an essential oil is its price. Pure essential oils are generally more expensive. Common oils such as lavender and geranium are much cheaper than frankincense and carnation oil. It is advisable to become familiar with essential oil prices and then rely on this knowledge when purchasing oils from unfamiliar sources. Keep in-mind that you will generally get what you pay for. A price list from a reputable dealer is a valuable resource when purchasing essentials oils.

Usually, pure essential oils cannot be applied directly to the skin and must be mixed in a base oil to reduce their strength. Base oils such as almond oil or wheatgerm oil are commonly used for this purpose. Base oils are generally derived from seeds, nuts or vegetables and allow you to create essential oil remedies that can be massaged into the skin.

So, what do you need to get started with essential oils and natural remedies?

Without a doubt, Lavender is one of the most useful and desirable oils. Not only does it work wonders on cuts, bruises and burns, it also aids sleep and helps with relaxation.

The Tea Tree and Eucalyptus oils are useful for treating a variety of respiratory ailments. These are excellent for the treatment of colds and coughs. They can be massaged into the chest or burned in an oil burner to help clear the airways and prevent congestion. Tea Tree oil is a natural antiseptic and can be dabbed on cuts, bites and stings. It is often used to treat spots and pimples and when diluted with water, acts as a mouth gargle (keep in-mind it should never be swallowed).

Another basic antiseptic is Geranium oil. With its distinctive perfume and pain relieving properties, it is a necessary inclusion when starting out.

Peppermint oil should also be purchased as it treats digestive complaints and may be used in preparations for freshening breath.

For fragrant perfumes and establishing ambience in a room, buy some Patchouli and Ylang-ylang oils. Often combined in scented candles and air fresheners, a few drops of each in an oil burner creates a wonderfully perfumed home. Orange oil mixed with Cinnamon oil is a lovely winter alternative that evokes seasonal, holiday smells. Besides their perfume qualities, all four of these oils have other properties. Patchouli treats eczema and dandruff. Ylang-ylang is reputed to relieve stress, palpitations and high blood pressure. Orange is used in natural remedies for depression and nervous tension and Cinnamon is excellent for warts and viral infections.

The herbs, Thyme and Rosemary can be grown in pots and used when needed. To create essential oils from herbs, stew some large amounts in pure water, collect the steam and cool it. The oil will rise to the top of the drained water and can be collected with an eyedropper. Alternatively, a "flower still" can be purchased to make the job easier. Thyme and Rosemary are both antiseptics and can be used in skin care preparations. They are also delicious when used in cooking.

Lemon oil and fresh lemons will purify water and, when mixed with honey, are effective remedies for colds and flu. Lemon and white vinegar are highly efficient cleaning agents that can be used for domestic cleaning tasks without damaging the environment. Use white vinegar as a natural disinfectant or mix it with water to clean windows and wooden floors. It is also handy to keep a bottle of white vinegar in your car if you swim in the ocean. It will bring instant relief from jellyfish stings.

Citronella oil is perfect in summer to keep the insects at bay. Another natural repellent is Garlic. Fleas will not bite a dog that has been eating garlic, so a few garlic capsules in the dog food are a cheap solution to your pet's flea problem. A soft collar soaked in Citronella will also do the job.

Garlic also helps to promote a healthy immune system when the weather turns cold and viruses begin to circulate. In fact, most of the oils and herbs listed above are effective in helping to prevent many common winter illnesses.

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