Thursday, February 10, 2005

Code Brown or The Unlikely RN's First Bedpan

It was conceivable I could get through nursing school without having anything to do with bedpans. Many people get through my program without it and many people can even get through nursing without bedpan duty by politely requesting the nursing assistant to, well, assist.

But that won't be me.

Instead, I had an old-fashioned, code brown, #2, 4-days-worth-of-feces bedpan experience. Guess what? Bedpans are too small for 4 days worth! My poor patient was very unhappy but I tried to be as therapeutic and jovial as possible and said "Well we weren't built at all to poop lying down so you and I will just have to try to cope". Cope we did with about 3 packs of wet-wipes, a sponge bath and a half and a sort-of-smile.

So I have never been more intimate with adult poop in my life. To be honest, I get a little nauseous thinking about it and I have developed a minor psychosis where I think I can still smell it on me although I showered (just once, I promise - a *very* minor psychosis). In any case, the bedpan seal is broken.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

now THAT sounds like my kind of first date!

12:03 PM  
Blogger Ilan Muskat said...

"I fear the brown trousers shall be insufficient, Monsieur Culdesac. Fetch the wheelbarrow and the shovel."

3:41 PM  

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