Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Christmas Disease & More Offputting Food Comparisons

One exam left: pediatrics. This is a cumulative exam and involves countless conditions, diseases, symptoms, lab values, nursing management and more. I can barely bring myself to write about any of these things as I am so sick of studying them. The only barely entertaining fact that I can come up with is that the rarer type of haemophilia is called "Christmas Disease." That's festive, at least.

Oh wait. There *IS* more . . . more disgusting food comparisons to share:

If a child has an intestinal intussusception (happens to kids from 3 months to 3 years where their small intestine telescopes into their large intestine and shuts the whole works down), you will pass "CURRENT JELLY stools." And if that's not enough, you'll also be able to palpate a SAUSAGE-shaped mass in their abdomen.

If a child has a pyloric stenosis (a narrowing of the sphincter that lets food from your stomach into your intestine), you can palpate an OLIVE-shaped mass in just above their belly button on the right. Don't you find the olive comparison suspiciously specific? Why couldn't they just say "small lump" or "oval lump"? Why does it have to be an olive? The child would also have projectile vomiting which would probably discourage you from looking for that damned olive anyway.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agh! I read your whole blog in one sitting. I loved it. I am a fellow Canuck and am on the brink of returning to school for what I never imagined in a million years I would study. Nursing.

Can't wait for your next post.

7:51 PM  
Blogger Ilan Muskat said...

I am a fellow canuck and I hope your exams went as well as I hope my exams will go.

Can't wait for your next phone call.

2:09 AM  
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